Today is my birthday. Yes it’s true! Today I am officially grown up.
No, that will actually never happen. Especially when I continue to keep a pizza sketchbook and talk for my dog in a very bad French accent.
What? Did I just write that?
Along those lines, for my birthday this year I am going to make a few confessions. Food-related confessions. I have some weird food-related habits and I’m going to come clean and tell you what they are. Then you can bring on the judging.
Or perhaps, as a birthday gift to me, you can tell me some of YOUR weird food habits. Because I know you have some. Everyone does.
Here are mine (in no particular order):
1. I reheat coffee. Sometimes even the next day. Sometimes even when it has milk in it. Oh, and I actually like soy creamer. I know…horrendous.
2. My favorite breakfast is poached eggs on oatmeal. But when I’m at the gym and can’t get poached eggs, I’ll get hard boiled eggs and mix them into an Apple Cinnamon oatmeal packet. Sometimes with strawberries. It’s the best. It also grosses everyone out.
3. I cook with the refrigerator door open.
4. I’ve eaten tripe. And liked it.
5. I’ve eaten more food when on dinner dates. Yes, with men.
6. I have a gourmet food impulse buying problem. Please don’t tempt me with $12 bags of artisinal granola or lemon curd made from the tree in your backyard. I will buy it.
7. My favorite ice cream flavor is Chocolate Chip Mint. And that’s how I say it, too. I like it to be green.
8. I was briefly employed as a funnel-cake chef at a Jersey Shore amusement park. I spent one summer constantly smelling like a donut. You’d think I’d have made more friends.
9. I really like chicken liver.
10. I prefer the tenticle parts of calamari over the rings.
11. I used to eat peanut butter and sprinkle sandwiches.
It’s this last point I would like to address now, in honor of my birthday. Yes, I used to make myself peanut butter and sprinkle sandwiches. The bread must be white (a potato or buttermilk bread is an indulgent choice), the peanut butter must be creamy and the sprinkles must be the long, multicolored kind.
It has recently (two days ago) come to my attention via my friend Kaz that the Dutch enjoy a similar delicacy called Hagelslag. The Dutch, however, prefer to use the butter of cows for sprinkle cement, while I enjoy the butter of peanuts.
The result is similar in that you have a glorious, sandwiched version of birthday cake. And I am going to tell you how to make my version (should you need instructions, which really does seem silly).
An old favorite of mine: Peanut Butter and Sprinkle Sandwiches! It’s easy, it’s delicious, but it doesn’t have much nutritional value…
- 2 slices white, potato or buttermilk bread
- peanut butter (I’m not going to judge you on how much you use, but don’t skimp)
- rainbow sprinkles (enough to cover one side of the bread in a thin rainbow layer)
- Place bread on a plate.
- Smooth one slice with peanut butter.
- Spinkle sprinkles on top of the peanut better.
- Cover with the other slice of bread.
- Eat with delight and wonder like a child diving into her own birthday cake.
- Happy birthday to me!
Keywords: peanut butter, peanut butter sandwich, sprinkles