Things John Eats – A Birthday Post

Today is John’s 32nd birthday. He doesn’t want me to tell you this. In fact, we had a conversation about it the other day:

John: I’m happy to see there are no birthday posts in the blog queue.

Me: Not YET.

John: No.

Me: Yes.

And so, here I go, defiantly and publicly wishing my brother a happy birthday to the 3 people that read this blog. I’m hoping Marmo and The Box are already aware of the date, so it’s just that one other person…

Anyway! To celebrate this fine date, I have compiled a list of things John likes to eat, with accompanying recipes and entertaining conversations.

John doesn’t do much cooking. You might recall the state of his freezer which will illustrate his level of preparedness in that regard:

You might also recall the numerated post we featured on the contents of his refrigerator (which was equally alarming).

The state of this appliance often leads to numerous questions from John on what he should eat. Consider a recent one in which he was attempting to revamp his diet, asking me for advice:

John: So, it’s NOT a good idea to eat a whole rotisserie chicken for dinner?

Me: Is this a serious question?

John: Yeah.

Me (stunned silence)

Back in the day, John used to eat some interesting things. He would dunk either peanut butter or grilled cheese sandwiches in vanilla yogurt. I found this disgusting. But I was intrigued enough to update the recipe to something palatable:

You can find the recipes for that here.

John’s absolute favorite dessert is Marmo’s apple pie, which is a deep dish apple pie with a crumble crust. It’s a most impressive pie. He even wrote a post about it, here. But his final meal? He would dip a pasta fork in the Vodka Pasta at Sammy’s Cider Mill. And I must say, although we don’t always agree, I tip my hat to this choice.

John definitely keeps me entertained. Like the time we had the following conversation:

John: Do you have any fake mustaches lying around?

Me: No.

John: Did you check everywhere?

Me: Yes?

This was all in prep for the DiFara video we made. We did not have fake mustaches. But we did dance around John’s apartment, pizza peel in hands to the tune of  “She Drives Me Crazy”. 

Video seems to be John’s preferred method of blog contribution. Although, he has recently figured out how to use Twitter, which scared the pants off me. Especially when I received this text:

Yes, it does smell like carrots (special points if anyone knows which TV show that is from).

And so, happy birthday to my favorite and only brother!

He dances!

He grows beards!

And he occasionally shows up at my races, hung over, vanquishes the athlete snack bar, and then heads back to bed!

To many more years of chipping golf balls into your bathtub, random gchat and text conversations, open hostility with my 16 pound dog Toby, eating fests, tipsy bike rides down the shore, painful conversations with Aunt Emily (cut your hair, ACDC!!!), philosophical conversations about what I SHOULD be doing with my life, terrifying dating advice and endless hours of the Golf Channel. Endless, people.

Happy frickin’ birthday!